Violence was a stressor for me as a child. It wasn't violence in my home, but it was a lot in my neighborhood. I grew up in an area known as a "ghetto" or the "projects". The people in my neighborhood were poor, on drugs, or living check to check trying to make it out of the ghetto. My parents did not allow us outside after a certain time, we could not go to certain areas, and we were told to stay away from certain people. There were shootings, robberies, and fights weekly. Don't get me wrong it was not like a war zone, but it wasn't the safest place or ideal place to raise a family. Walking home from school one afternoon, my siblings and I saw a man beat another man until he was unconscious. This traumatized my siblings and I. I remember feeling sad, scared, shocked, and helpless. My parents talked to us about violence, reassured us that we would be okay, and made sure we stuck together. For about two weeks, I felt a little anxiety after getting off the bus. My parents got worried and talked to a school counselor about options. The counselor pulled my siblings and I for 20 minutes everyday for 1 month and we talked and I remember her teaching us how to breathe when we feel stressed. She also said to find a way to calm down and relax for a few minutes after school. My siblings and I began to read and play games at the same time every day and this was our way of coping and staying close.
Coping with stress differs because of culture, age development, and many more factors. Coping with violence stress in South Africa will be my focus. South African children are no strangers to stress. They have to deal with stressors such as health, hunger, war, violence, poverty, and even sexual violence. After researching, I found that the children in south Africa cope the same way we do here in America. They go to adults for comfort and help. School counselors or parents help children cope by helping them to feel safe and calm. The difference is in America, counselors are more available and accessible than in South Africa.
When children are exposed to violence it has a psychological, biological, and emotional effect on them. If parents are around to intervene this can be the first step to coping with violence.
Hello
ReplyDeleteI read your post, I just wanted to say that it takes alot of courage to bring up draded memories of pat events especailly when that event could bring feelings back into play. just wanted to say, that where a person lives doesn't define them, but its how a person lives that defines him or her. You said you lived in the ghetto, but your parents didn't allow the ghetto to live in you.
Amen!! I say those words a lot...the ghetto can make you or break you. It was definitely my drive to be great. I teach, my brother is an officer, my sister is a business owner. We made it out!
DeleteThank you for sharing your personal story. Growing up in the type of neighborhood you described must have been difficult for you and your siblings. You were quite fortunate to have the counselor who supported and helped you. As you mentioned, not all children are fortunate enough to have that type of support system- like the children you discussed who are living in South Africa.
ReplyDeleteViolence is still a big factor in schools today it is growing more and more by the day. It is sad that the children in south africa have the best support system. I know counselors are helpful but if parents were more informed and aware of how to help their children cope I believe the children in the U.S. would be able to cope easier.
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